Wednesday, August 22, 2007

a love note for no one

This is for you. Maybe one day you'll read this, and you'll know it was meant for you. Maybe that's too much for me to hope in the grand scheme of things.

But then again, maybe it's not.

I sit here and I think about you sometimes...what you might look like, your smile...the way you might look at me when I make you laugh. A look that would ignite a heart whose embers faded to ash long ago. The thought that one day we will find each other keeps the old heart from growing too cold - so cold that I stop caring.

I think about all the things we could do together; how we'd whisper stupid things to each other in the theater before the movie...or argue over which god-awful thing to rent next...or drive somewhere we've never been just so we can say we went, b/c road trips are fun and it's about the journey...or lie in the cool grass in the dead of night, watching stars twinkle and fade in that oddly comforting Stygian dark as you lay your head on my chest...

And in the meantime I try to find a way to do more than exist...a way to not desire you in my life...a way to forget that knowing you would make me better, b/c just wanting to know you and love you makes me a better man. I live my daily live, trying to improve myself - trying to be the best person I can be and realizing how much of a journey this life is...

So I guess I'm just writing all this to simply tell one person, "Hi. My name's Shane. I've been waiting to meet you my whole life. If you're you...the one for me, that is...I hope to hear from you soon. I hope I'm not wrong in believing that one of us will start figuring things out before it's too late.

But until that day when we meet, take care of yourself and know that every day that passes, I miss you more.

Love,
Me

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