Enter The Monkey

Monkey's Log...OH MY (yes that was a blatant George Takei reference.) Monkey date...oh. The blog thing probably already logged the monkey date...huh. (scratches head, eats flea)

Fine. I've given in...herein lies the first blog of Shane McElveen, self-proclaimed graphic design monkey and overall nifty human being. And, of course, I have nothing of consequence to write.

About me:

I'm a graphic design monkey. This means that I among the temperamental creative masses to whom corporate America pays an excruciatingly low salary to create artwork. For this meager restitution, I use my God-given abilities and years of accumulated design knowledge to design a varieties of things, from logos to brochures to magazine ads. Just recently I've accepted a new position as Production Coordinator (yes, yes, I know, WTF indeed) which means that am adding HTML, CSS, etc. to my current design skills, thus becoming a Web Designer.

Let's see, what else...I'm a kid at heart, and also have 2 children; a 4-year-old fairy princess (yes, she's a girl, ass...) and a 9-year-old Jedi Knight masta killa. They are awesome kids, and they are a constant source of inspiration to me on countless levels. I'm divorced to their mom, so yes, ladies, I am on the market. (rolls eyes) I'm a geek and a freak, I love movies, and I (gasp) love roleplaying games. That's right, I am a Dungeons and Dragons dork, and proud of it.

Just as a note to the poor souls who end up reading my assplosive mental diarrhea:

I will likely be writing secondary blogs at least once a week about the status of my weight. That's right, I'm a big Fatty McFatterson at 259 frightening lbs. (if I just offended you, I sincerely don't care. Don't read blogs you can't handle and have a nice day!), and I'm finally ready to do something about that. Anyway, read my second blog today for more sad elaboration, speculation, and hopeful eventual emancipation. Heh. I'm starting to sound like the good Rev. Jesse Jackson.


That's it for now; it's a decent beginning. I figure daily situations will lead to more detail on the countless things I've forgotten to mention.

Monkey out,
Shane